the verdict…

24Apr07

I still haven’t decided about India.Irie’s whole post-shaving off the locs look… I am pro khol curl though…

Filed under: Uncategorized   |  1 Comment

shea butter saved my fro…

23Apr07

My ‘fro had a serious case of the north-of-the-equator blues (not helped by the revision and general lack of care). Lukily for me, my dad’s just been on a business run to Ghana, and came back with some gorgeous, creamy shea butter. My aunt in Bolga boiled it with some herbs (no specifics, Northern Ghanaian secret) to get rid of the strange smell.

I’ve never met my aunt, so the thought of her  doing something all aunt-like got me a bit weepy.  Anywho, when we got hold of it, F’yall boiled it up and whipped it with glycerine (great humicant), a couple of drops of rosemary essential oil (dandruff cure), peppermint essential oil (tingly stimulant) and sweet orange oil (beautiful smell). After it hardens (takes about a day) it leaves a creamy, melt-to-the-touch hair and scalp conditioner that turns the from from a dry, straw-like mess to z-curl heaven…

When no one can be bothered to make the 3000-mile journey to get me my hair fix, I get it from Mariposa Import, a brilliant natural afro hair webshop run by a fabulous Dutch woman…

So here’s the rub: with a georgeous, non-greasy, non-carcinogenic, cheap, good-for-Africa alternative, why do we bother with the smelly mess that is Sulfur 8,  the greasy ordeals that are Blue Magic and Morgan’s Pomade (sorry Grandad) and the sheer hell that is Vaseline. Petrolium and mineral oil aren’t moisturisers – they seal surfaces away from moisture- that’s why they’re used on machinery… Am I missing something?

Filed under: blue magic, Dandruf, essential oil, mariposa import, morgans pomade, mummy, shea butter, the 'fro, vaseline   |  Leave a Comment

the hotness – Darcel Wynne off Solid Gold

15Mar07

I never got any first hand experience of the Solid Gold Dancers – at least not until YouTube got going – so like most black British kids I got my Solid Gold, and Soul Train references from American TV (thank you Fresh Prince). But when I finally did see them dance, resplendent in lamé on the spotty screen of my MacBook, I was blown away by the fabulousness that was principal dancer Darcel Wynne.

She wore those seriously long, complicated 80′s weaves, huge nubian positive earrings, and the worlds most meticulous (and frighteningly long) arcylic nails, and very little else… all while high kicking, and orgasmicaslly rolling herself around a sound stage. And not once does she look sweaty or deshevelled. Fabulous.

Filed under: 80's, dancer, Darcel Wynne, Solid Gold Dancers, the hotness, unspecified hotness   |  2 Comments

subtlety

12Mar07

AFRO DENIAL: A psychological affliction where patients exhibit self-delusional behavior. Believing they have straight-flowing European supermodel-type hair. Thereby refusing to accet the coarseness and/or nappiness of their actual hair.

-Aaron McGruder

Filed under: afro denial and ethno-hostility sundrome, the 'fro, the historical 'fro   |  1 Comment

WTF’s under there…?

11Mar07

As much as I love Tyra, I hate lace front wigs. Seriously. I have a very visceral reaction everytime I see one. I think it’s part of my general weave-itis. I’m hoping this goes the way of the Jheri Curl, even though it’s prettier and undeniably less moist…

Also: Tyra and Beyonce, light hair non kinky, newly hazel eyes, skin about two shades lighter than it was five years ago… I’m just sayin’…

Filed under: 80's, afro denial and ethno-hostility sundrome, eww, the 'fro, the historical 'fro   |  Leave a Comment

black hair care circa 1772

02Mar07

On Inside Out, there was a bit about Dido Elizabeth Belle, the biracial daughter of a Royal Navy captain and a black slave, who lived in Britain, not as a servant or slave (underwhelmed much?) but as the niece of the Earl of Mansfield, Britain’s most powerful judge.
All the way through the resonant report about ‘The First Black Aristocrat’, with all it’s talk about the way her very existence may have been the beginning of the end of the slave trade, I kept thinking:

‘Bi-racial girl, Scotland, 1772. What did they do with her hair?’

“FOR two centuries the young black woman, arms entwined with her white aristocratic cousin, has smiled beguilingly down from the walls of Scone Palace. In the portrait, Dido Elizabeth Belle is clothed in rich silks and satins, and exudes a radiant beauty befitting her status as the adopted daughter of the first Earl of Mansfield, the first Scot to become Lord Chancellor.”

Now you can’t look that fabulous and neglect the fro. And it wasn’t like she could do what we do now when we end up in an empty melting pot (head for the nearest ghetto or university). Amazingly, despite relatively thorough historical records, there is not one mention of her haircare regimen.

Filed under: black britain, the 'fro, the historical 'fro   |  1 Comment

biter’s block – Carlos Mencia

18Feb07

Carlos Mencia’s faux Mexican, joke stealing, unfunny arse has been very publicly kicked.
His whole shtick is being the Mexican who does racial comedy. He’s actually half Honduran and according to popular conjecture, half German: his real name is Ned Holness.

He has stolen entire bits from (real Mexian) comic George Lopez and pretty much every other comedian on the US circuit. Seriously. Even demi-God Richard Pryor. Almost word for word.
Anywho, comic, and Fear Factor host Joe Rogan (who’s never been bitten by Mencia) finally snapped, and KO’d him on stage at the Comedy Store. The video’s compelling watching.

In the aftermath, Rogan has been dropped by his agent (who also represents Mencia) and banned from the Comedy Store, (the home of modern stand up) where he’s spent all 13 years of his career in Hollywood. Mencia has a reputation for having comedians blackballed when they call him out.

It’s not all hate: Mencia is a remarkable performer. I remember listening to iRadioChicago Comedy and loving him, but getting Mencia and Lopez mixed up. I thought I was being a bad ethnic by conflating my Mexicans and I was all ready to beg Gael Garcia Bernal for forgiveness. And how. But it turns out Mencia just stole 13 straight minutes from Lopez.

I was kind of upset that Robin Williams (an incredible stand-up performer whether coked up or sober) is such a prolific biter that clubs developed a early warning system so comics on stage could lock up anything original.

I’m very inept at public speaking, so I inevitably worship anyone who can tell a story well, perform, appeal to peoples sensibilities (and prejudices) and make people laugh. It’s a gift. And it’s a bitch write, and re-write, even before the pain of regularly putting bits of your soul on stage on the off-chance that it goes well. To have something you worked on simply stolen with no recourse is pretty disgusting.

Joe Rogan’s blog
Radar – ‘Take the Funny and Run’
And in the interests of fairness: CarlosMencia.com

Filed under: biter's block, carlos mencia, comedy, george lopez, it's a dirty rotten shame, joe rogan, plagiarism, robbin williams   |  3 Comments

it’s gonna take me like…

18Feb07

DSC_0014, originally uploaded by jasminegrapes.

…a month to learn how to use this camera. I even read the instructions. That’s how into this Nikon I am.

Let the miseducation begin.
Also, a heads up. DO NOT BUY MEMORY CARDS FROM JESSOPS. I REPEAT, DO NOT BUY MEMORY CARDS FROM JESSOPS. If you’re on Tottenham Court Road, for the love of god, ignore the hotness (and there IS hotness) that is the camera nerd taking your money and cross the road.

Observe: 1GB SD Card, SanDisk Ultra II

Jessops : £54.99

Jacobs : £29.99

Morgan Computers: £18.79

My mum was so proud.

Filed under: mummy, photography, unspecified hotness   |  3 Comments